Destined2Fail

I turned the page and the whole thing burst into flames. The reasons a blur, but I'll undoubtably take the blame. My words are neither direct nor clear; Merely a man fueled by hate and fear. Circumstances aside, you're not likely to remember my name. Thoughts run deep, but the synapses run slow. Furiously searching for one truth to bestow. My goal is simply to learn why I am. Is it too much to want to understand? I went to walk out the door, but I fell flat on my face. Since that day I've only wanted to get back to that place. I've tried for years, but I fear I've done all I can. Like a message in a bottle, the lesson eludes me. Like a child

Somewhere between the decision and the action, I strayed from the path after losing traction. Everything I've ever written was for you. Through it all, you're my sole distraction. After a grain of salt, take that as you will. I can't decide if it's healthy or if it will kill. Don't confuse my indecision with regret. All I feel now is unaffected by the thrill. I can't drink enough to drown out the sound. Your song leaves me lost and never found, Yet I forever hum it's catchy tune. It leaves my mouth sewn and hands bound. I know now this is a result of all the white lies. This hopelessness is retribution for my disguise. I've made burning brid

With each sun rise comes a struggle I know oh so well I fight demise and try to fill this whole to my hell Bitterness screams at me like a voice inside my head Happiness seems difficult, but I'd rather be dead Every day we grow older. We owe it to ourselves to not grow colder. You know how humble I can be It will be the death of me I turn away from what I need My own warning, pay no heed I've never been able to ask for much, but I need your touch. Perhaps this is the realization I can't do this on my own Despite my intentions, I've always been alone I've shut them all out and relied upon myself This is me running back to you for

When dawn breaks, but the frost doesn't melt When the wind blows and stings like a leather belt As the lightening rains down on us And the thunder hits you like a bus You have safe haven here There is no fear I have not felt When the nausea sets in after what seems a grave mistake When you can't get an ounce of sleep for your own sake After your head feels like it will burst And you can't satiate your only thirst You always have my ear There is no feeling I can't fake When it seems that chain is too heavy to rise above When your dreams are plagued by a solitary dove As all colors slowly fade to grey And your nights drown in dis

This desperation is shared; I can sense it The term is too broad, But I can't condense it The ones we call ghosts haunt my dreams Perhaps we're all hosts Well I'm tearing at the seems These night terrors will be the death of me Lost loved ones torture me in my sleep I can't help but feel  That there's some secret they keep The look in their eyes The sound of their voice They see through my disguise And speak to me in white noise My heart feels that it's real, but my mind knows better Am I locked in a battle between good and evil? Time will tell; We're all in this together

This isn't some convoluted song about love Or some sappy story about rising above This is about decisions made subconsciously  That no matter how hard you try; you can't figure out why This is about the regret that sinks in When the smoke lifts from the explosion And all that's revealed is destruction This is about when all that hope for things anew Is spent remembering what was lost because of you When all you need is in front of you, but it's too close to focus This about running I fight the night just to catch some sleep I pray for kind ears just to have secrets to keep I wait to be found so I can hide once more I o

My chest still burns from the shock. It seemed like a decade, but mere seconds fell from the clock. There was no blinding light, no hell fire. Only eternal restlessness from this cold and lonely desire. A certain calmness settled in that day As if I found comfort in the thought of constant disarray I fought the light and prayed for sleep To somehow forget that these lies pulled me in too deep The days passed me by, for all I know it's been years When I caught those eyes it halted the churning gears My chest started to burn for another reason It seems I found hope in the changing of the season The cold gave way  as summer exha

I am of big action and small talk I once ran where I now walk More like the board and less like the chalk First comes the awe and then the shock I stand before myself a wandering man Who set into motion no project nor plan Struggling with all that I will, all that I can I promise to go down your number one fan Downtrodden, lost, and berated I've become all that I've hated Judging where judgement is stated My failures will soon be paraded Cast out my fortune and despite my name I've had little to do with the person you became With a mouth full of blood, I'll hide my shame For you and I are one in the same I fight each day with the mon

There's times when I believe that I couldn't wake up without this feeling It's awkward yet welcoming, as if my heart would respond to some healing Anymore it's hard to tell what being content feels like Perhaps I can't be happy without this mountain to hike We're told from too young of an age what it means to get old We all need a white picket fence and family of five Life is not a lesson, forget and unfold This road is about to get violent to say the least But I refuse to steer anymore May this life take me where it pleases, famine or feast This is not a letter of resignation, no I'm not giving up I've simply had to adjust so

Every time we speak this pressure builds up inside my heart As if I had some life changing information to share But when the feeling hits my throat the words just fall apart It's not a lack of things to say, rather I've said them all before I get lost within myself every night, but I still can't forget Maybe it's a lack of effort, or maybe this is my encore From the inside it feels like some life or death struggle But to the outsiders its a refusal to let go I've argued  until my veins swell in anger, I have no rebuttal My dreams are like a bad song stuck on repeat Waking nightmares stain my mind forever Each morning I wash my